I found the perfect model for teaching patience to our kids, and I found it at the happiest place on earth, Disney World. For those who have never been to Disney World, the experience is a masterclass in teaching patience. Disney cleverly occupies guests with engaging activities during downtimes. They are the times when our impatience rises typically. These activities keep us informed and entertained while simultaneously reminding us that what we’re standing in line for is worth it. They reward our endurance, and that invites patience. The in-between time is a significant part of the whole experience; understanding how to integrate these “Disney” ideas can save a parent’s sanity.
Disney understands how to avoid frustration by setting the proper tone, keeping guests informed, creating a minute-to-minute experience, and reminding us that the moment we’re in isn’t wasted.
First, just like Disney, set the tone. Disney calls their staff cast members, not employees. When you enter a Disney park, cast members greet all visitors at the entrance. Their job is to prepare the mood, so guests can better engage and take full advantage of the park experience. Their cheerful disposition eases apprehensions. There is usually uplifting music playing over speakers, which sets the tenor and rhythm for the movement in the park. Disney sets up the surroundings to invite calm and guest involvement at a friendly pace.
Disney can effectively persuade us that it is indeed the happiest place on earth. The endgame sets the tone to establish that what you are doing is valuable and worth waiting for. The proper tone invites us into that mindset. Setting the tone before an experience that requires patience is crucial in situations with our children. Approach the event with a positive attitude, that you want it to happen with pleasure. It’s hard to convince someone that an experience is worthwhile if you appear reluctant or angry about it. Taking a minute to set the tone may prove the most valuable minute you invest in the entire experience.
Second, Disney preempts the “are we there yet” frustration by letting us know where we are--at all times. Signs posted every few yards help us assess our position. That’s important because it signals our progress and suggests that we are going somewhere. It also tells us how long until the end of the line. Having a sense of direction and duration assigns time a purpose, so we don’t feel like we are wasting our time. Disney also offers options that allow us to take control of our wait time. We can take advantage of the park’s fast-pass, ride as a single rider, or try at the old-fashioned first come, first served line. We get to choose. Offering options suggests that we have a choice and are waiting on our own terms. When it’s our choice, we make it work. People have an allegiance to their own decisions. We go the extra mile to be right. Give our kids options so that they are interested in the experience. When people have it their way, they can endure the discomfort. If the outcome is attractive enough, they can overcome pesky annoyances.
Third, Disney keeps us busy. They provide interaction with cast members along the way that keep our minds fresh and help us feel like we are doing something new. They offer photos with Princesses, Stormtrooper interactions, and fun trivia games. Guests at Disney don’t have to wait for the fun. The fun is in every moment by keeping us informed, offering options to pass the time, and setting expectations. Disney makes the waiting its own experience. Parents can create a more patient environment like Disney World to help kids during a tiresome event or long car ride. Parents can make every minute count. I am not suggesting that we fill every minute with an activity or purpose. But we should remind our kids that every minute has a purpose.
Sometimes minutes are filled with doing, and sometimes they are filled with not doing. How we think about the minute assigns its purpose.
I occupied long trips with sing-alongs, trivia games, and pockets of time when they could do an activity on their own or rest. Like Disney, I offered options. I gave them each a bag with puzzles, snacks, and activities. I didn’t tell them what to choose or when to choose it. Giving kids a choice, even a somewhat managed choice, is empowering, and they are more likely to make it work. Setting the proper expectation, keeping kids informed, and offering options at the start will help parents positively influence the entire experience. Next road trip, be more like Disney. Don’t wait for the fun; enjoy every minute!
- Kelly Rippon, author of Parent Up