Attitude

Here's part 2 of the story. Again, if you know the lecturer, share his or her name with us in the comment section! Enjoy these tips on how to deal with stress:

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

1. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

2. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4. Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

5. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8. Never buy a car you can't push.

9. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

10. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

11. Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12. The second mouse gets the cheese.

13. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

14. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

15. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

16. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

17. We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

18. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

I got an email from my Uncle Ron last week. It contained a story that really made me think (I don't know the author, so if you do, comment and let me know). Here's the story:

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 8 ounces to 20 ounces. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. "In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. "As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. "So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. "Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!"

What kind of stress are you carrying? What do you do to take a rest? If you haven't, subscribe to our blog, because Part 2 of this story has some tips for relieving stress.

Today, I'm happy to share an article specially written for you by Marlene Chism. Marlene wrote Stop Your Drama and specializes in "no drama" communication.

Your boss doesn't listen to your ideas. Your spouse refuses to try to understand. Your employees resist your leadership, and secretly you know you keep doing things you don't really want to do but you feel stuck and don't know how to tip the lever to change. What we are talking about is resistance.

Until you are trained, resistance is nearly impossible to spot because often it can be subtle. Good listening is one way to uncovering resistance in yourself and others. Why should you care? If you want to shift your current circumstances you can do so more quickly if you can spot the pockets of resistance. If you lead others, knowing where there is resistance will help you to coach that person toward positive change. There are many signs that a person is in resistance. In this checklist here are five of them

1. Justification

2. Know it all

3. Need for Approval

4. Living out of the zone

5. Complaining

Justification

Justification is a fancy word for excuses. Listen for the words, "but and can't" and you will uncover pockets of resistance. I can't do it: it's too difficult, or "I would but I don't have enough money." Until a person stops making excuses, there is no room for positive action.

Know it all

A blocked mindset or stubborn resistance shows up in strong opinions and superiority such as, "I already know that is what he will say," or "That will never happen." Until a person is willing to consider another possible reality you will have a lot of energy spent on resisting your ideas or your leadership.

Need for approval

Most people never truly grow out of their need for agreement and approval. The result is procrastination or endless surveying of others in the form of "what do you think I should do?" This type of resistance paralyzes people in fear because they are afraid of making the wrong decision or making someone angry. It's good to get other insights and opinions but needing approval is another way to avoid criticism as well as a way to avoid personal responsibility.

Living out of the zone

One sure sign of resistance is living so far into the future or too far into the past. If on a number line negative ten represents the past and positive ten represents the future, the zone, or the present moment is somewhere between negative 2 and positive 2, or learning from the past and planning for the future. Anything beyond that is resistance to the only power you really have which is the now. Living for the future is a way to resist the present moment by believing that once the future arrives, relief will come. "Once I get the raise, once the economy gets better, once I lose the weight, and meet the right partner then…" The other form of resistance is living in the past, either talking about glory days or regretting past mistakes. The way out of resistance is to live in the present.

Complaining

Any form of negativity is resistance and a big time waster. Instead of doing the one thing to promote positive change, time is spent focusing on what is not working, what is unacceptable, how someone done someone wrong, how things should have been, what might have been, what opportunity was missed and how unfair it all is. Until one accepts the present situation, the "leak in the boat" continues to expand and worsen the situation.

Marlene Chism is the author of Stop Workplace Drama and is the founder of the Stop Your Drama Methodology. To learn more about how to release resistance click here.

"When nothing is sure, everything is possible." –Margaret Drabble

Oh, my goodness. It's almost summer… and to top it off, perhaps you're "in transition" looking for work, or in a job situation that needs to change. Maybe it's time to pay school tuition, or pick a college. You might be dealing with a health or family issue that is draining your "reserves" of energy, time, and resources. Given one, two, or ALL of the above, it's perfectly normal to feel stressed, possibly depressed, or absolutely overwhelmed. And, honestly? Platitudes are probably the LAST thing you want to hear.

I understand. But, one thing life has taught me with absolute certainty is that every day holds the potential to create the life you wish to have. Again and again, timeless wisdom tells us that the potential of an uncertain day, an uncertain future, an uncertain circumstance, is unlocked by an attitude of expectation. Every day offers new moments, new hours, and new opportunities that can be full of expectation for a new you – and it starts with attitude.

But don't take my word for it. History is full of wisdom from those who have gone before us, giving us quotations like the one above. When you need a "shot in the arm" to keep looking for work, or inspiration to "keep your eyes on the ball," or the mental fortitude to "get up and get going" another day, try to consider the proposition that there is often truth in the platitudes that swirl around us. I'll take that a step further, and tell you that there is also fruit to bear that goes beyond the direct advice they give…. The platitudes about attitudes are just the beginning. You know, The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. And there is always more than one road to your future, or as Lt. General Hal Moore says, "There is always one more thing you can do to influence the situation in your favor."

As an entrepreneur for most of my adult life, I am a firm believer in the power of expectation. I meet each day with the anticipation that it will bear fruit – whether my time is booked with clients – or not. I expect to make a living each day, and I take it a day at a time. Funny how a "freelance writing and media production" business that started out by taking it one day at a time, hitting the pavement, shaking hands, introducing myself wherever I was, and whenever I could, blazed a trail to … now, over 20 years later. Did I travel in a straight line from "zero to making a living?" Did I create everything I dreamed I would have in the form of stuff? Hardly. So far, my life has dealt me a very trying hand, losing two brothers and both parents at a very young age, having a tumor removed, watching my husband lose his job in this recession, investing in a business that failed, and dealing with a malicious identity theft, just to give you a few examples of some of my own challenges along the way.

I'm acutely aware of how immobilized the events of a lifetime can make you feel, no matter what your age or circumstances. I've experienced it myself, and I've seen it hundreds of times in others. So, for just a few moments, I'm asking you to suspend your doubts and disbeliefs about the possibilities for good that await you today. I'd like you to withhold your skepticism as you read this, and muster your courage to imagine that your future can hold even a fragment of the dreams you have. Just for now, hear me out. Read on to see some of the ways that I "reset my attitude" on a regular basis. For me, it's about delivering quality service and products in my business, creating daily happiness, and plain old survival. For you, it could be about something else. Just for now, in this moment, consider a few tips and actions that can make a difference in your life:

1. Set out to give a slice of joy to someone today. Notice I said a "slice." You don't have to bite off more than you can chew. Perhaps for you it means a "whisper," a compliment, a "thank you," a phone call, an E-mail, or a wildflower. Acknowledge and accept the perspectives of others. We're all doing the best we can right now, in the "shoes" of our circumstances. If need be, set your ego aside for just one moment and reach out to others; "put yourself in their shoes." There is something you can offer someone you know or love that won't cost you a thing. And you know what? It can give you and them the possibility of a new outlook, or infuse your lives with a little optimism. This simple act alone can take your attitudes beyond platitudes.
2. Get out on foot. Take a walk, and say "hello" to everyone you meet along the way. Notice everything, and marvel in the characteristics of your neck of the woods. Is there something you can do to help your neighborhood? Do you know the neighbors around you? Do you know their habits and routines? Admire their canine companions and their efforts to exercise. We Americans have become way too sedentary, and that lack of motion in our lives affects us in more ways than one, physically and mentally. There is a whole world out there, right in your own neighborhood, your own town, and your own city. You won't see it or experience it any other way but on foot. Taking a walk will clear your head, make you healthy, and introduce you to new friends and new ideas for charting a course to a more healthy and vibrant life.
3. Do your routine tasks in a different way. We are the habits we do every day. Deliberately changing one thing daily can change everything. You've heard the platitude "You are what you eat." Take this to heart literally AND figuratively. Your daily routine keeps you in the place you are NOW. Take a look around you and catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror. Your daily routine has created the images you see. When you learn something new, your brain physiologically changes. When you alter your diet and exercise habits, you reshape your waistline. When you make an effort to listen to someone else's story, you expand your beliefs and your tolerances. When you take a new route to the market, or venture into a new one altogether, you see things you've never seen before. When you visit a coffee shop that's off your beaten path, you meet new people. When you make new choices, you create a new future.
4. YOU are the architect of your life. There is a famous quotation that is often mistakenly said, "Circumstances make the man." The actual quotation by James Allen is "Circumstances don't make the man, they reveal him." Who you are is attributable in large part to how you have responded to your circumstances. I grew up in a home where my parents loudly opined about all of the politics of our country. As a young adult, I mimicked their words and attitudes boisterously as well. Then one day, with the emergence of a new issue that I felt strongly about, I realized that I could change my opinions if I wanted to. A light bulb literally went off in my head. "Wow. I don't agree with my parents on this issue. In fact, I don't agree with their politics at all anymore." I gave myself permission to change my beliefs in mid-stream, and I've never looked back. At my core, I ceased to be the person I was at a young age, and I have taken responsibility for that ever since. My actions reflect who I am.
5. Let yourself EVOLVE with the transformation of a new decision. Make the decision to trust that your life will bring forth a new bounty. You CAN be different than you are now. As human beings it is hard-wired within us to fear the unknown, and to be terrified of change. But, as much as our fears give us comfort because they are what we know, they also bind us tightly, and can imprison us with self-doubt and inaction.

Simple changes in your attitude and routine can affect literally everything about you and bring on a new job, a new relationship, a new outlook, new horizons, new friends, and a new body, just to name a few of the potential benefits. If you take it one day at a time, you can move beyond the platitude "Today is the first day of the rest of your life," and create today, tomorrow, and ultimately your future, what it stands for, and your legacy. I don't know about you, but to me, that's something worth thinking about.

Di Chapman is founder of Words To Your Advantage, a speaking and writing service; and the Chief Communications Officer for Power Connections Inc., an executive career management and outplacement company. You can read more of her thoughts at www.thedailyjobhunt.wordpress.com.

Today, to celebrate Mother's Day, BJ Gallagher has shared her story that will appear in the Stars and Stripes Newspaper this weekend! Please enjoy BJ's story, and Happy Mother's Day!

My mother Gloria was married to a military man. She moved her family 22 times in 31 years, over three continents, through three wars. Dad was the one who wore the uniform – Mom was the one who wore the brave smile. She served her country every bit as much as her husband Ken did, and she did so with no hesitation, no complaint, no regret. Mom was the wife of a warrior – she kept the home fires burning while Dad put his life on the line to protect his family and country.

I realize now that Mom put her life on the line, too. She was just 22 years old when she boarded ship in San Francisco and spent the next 21 days – horribly seasick – sailing to the Philippines to join my father. She stayed up on deck much of the time, carrying her nine-month-old baby (me) in her arms, trying desperately to calm her queasy stomach. Over the years, she always said how grateful she was for the kindness of sailors and strangers who helped care for me during her miserable voyage across the Pacific.

Just a few months after we arrived in the Philippines, the Korean War broke out and Dad was sent to Japan, leaving his young family behind. Mom would sometimes stand on the front porch of our house on base, with her toddler on her hip and a gun in her other hand. She could hear the Hukbalahap insurgents fighting just a mile up the road and at night she could see the flashes of gunfire in the nearby mountains. It would be six long months before she was allowed to join my father in Japan.

It couldn't have been easy for a young mother to alone with her baby in a foreign country, with communist insurgents fighting nearby. But when my mother tells the story now, she always makes it sound like a great adventure rather than a terrifying war zone. That's Mom – always putting a positive spin on things.

A few years later, after short stints in Montana, Texas, Los Angeles, and Sacramento, we got transferred to Virginia for six months, where Dad attended Armed Forces War College in Norfolk. At the time, the South was experiencing mounting racial tension, and I recall my mother cautioning me to be careful at school. She was especially distressed when I came home one day and told her that a couple girls had come to school with razor blades hidden in their hair.

The military culture in which we lived was remarkably free of racism and bigotry, so I was ill-prepared to deal with racial issues on the playground. Looking back, I think Mom was more worried about the covert racial conflict in the American South than she had been about the overt military conflict in the Far East.

In 1959 we shipped out to Germany, where we had our longest tour of duty – four and a half years – during which we moved three times. Dad often joked that just when Mom got a place fixed up the way she liked it, we had to move again. Mom always laughed, but I'm not sure she really thought it was funny.

We were stationed in West Germany when the Cold War began. The Berlin Wall went up and so did the tension in the air – even us kids could feel it. We never knew if war was going to break out and our dads would be called to fight. Everyone lived in a constant state of alert, wondering and waiting to see if families would have to be evacuated to stateside. My parents never talked about their fear of a potential World War III, but kids are intuitive and smart – we could sense that something ominous was looming.

My high school years were spent in Illinois, followed by our second tour of duty in Germany. Then Dad was off to War College again, this time in Montgomery, Alabama. From there it was north to Dover, Delaware for a couple years, then south to Puerto Rico. Next was Thailand for Dad, while Mom remained stateside in San Diego so my brother Roger could finish high school.

And so it went over the years – from base to base, state to state, country to country – my mom hauling her kids and boxes of belongings (and sometimes a cat or dog) from one assignment to the next. She was a military mom and that's just what they do – get their marching orders and report for duty.

Every day, month after month, year in and year out, in wartime and in peacetime, millions of American women serve their country with honor. They provide support to their military husbands, while raising their children in the shadow of the fortress. These women often do long stints as single moms, while their husbands are deployed overseas for extended periods – months, even years.

There are no medals for bravery awarded to the wives of warriors – but there should be. These remarkable women deserve their own "Mother of Freedom" medal.

On this Mother's Day, remember the military moms. Seek them out in your neighborhood, your workplace, your church, your local school. They are the unsung heroes – they are patriot moms who serve our country with selfless love and loyalty. Salute them. Thank them. Hug them. Honor them. They are the Mothers of Freedom.

BJ Gallagher has authored Learning to Dance in the Rain, The Best Way Out is Always Through, and Oh Thank Goodness, It's Not Just Me! for Simple Truths. She also blogs for the Huffington Post.