Excerpts from Laughter Is an Instant Vacation
"It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner." —Ben Bergor
"I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours." —Jerome K. Jerome
"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her." —Agatha Christie
"I plan on living forever. So far, so good." —Unknown
"Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare." —Ed Asner
"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." —Dave Barry
"If you love something, set it free. Unless it's chocolate. Never release chocolate." —Renee Duvall
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." —Calvin Trillin
"My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already." —Wendy Liebman
"My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle." —Henny Youngman
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